Some of This is True

.... The girl, Paula, got the tickets. She offered one to my cousin, who is an asshole. He didn't want it. She's seen him pick me up after work. He flirts like he's got an affliction: "Anything that squats to pee," he says. He looks at me like I'm next.

I back off for the next line, come back in on cue.

Yesterday, Paula came into the tube room. We have summer jobs at the Sears Catalogue Warehouse in Regina . Mine is to stand in front of a rack of pneumatic tubes, open the ones that are coughed out, pop the top, read the order, stuff it back into the tube. It's noisy, mindless. It pays more than minimum, and it's mine because my mom used to work in Customer Service before she went on Disability.

At the end of yesterday's shift, Paula followed me to the parking lot. She's tall with big breasts, so my cousin has his eyes on them when he says to me, "Get in back."

He looks at her shirtfront and turns the music up loud: "My blood runs cold! My memory has just been sold! My angel is a cennerfold!"

Paula shouts toward my cousin. I see her mouth moving, but I can't hear until my cousin punches the radio button. Then she's yelling, "-- tomorrow night in Edmonton?"

Then, more normal, "Do you wanna go?"

My cousin frowns. "I don't do that punk shit."

I'll go," I yelp from the back seat.

Paula looks confused but says, "Okay. We have to get the 9:30 bus."

My cousin turns the music up again and we pull onto Albert Street.

At home, he parks so close to the garage that I have to walk behind the car to get to the house. He's already opening his door and getting out, and he meets me behind the car. Grabbing my arms above the elbows, he says, "Gotcha!" like it's a game. He gets his face in close to mine and hisses, "What do you think you're up to?" He jerks his arms in around me and my feet leave the ground. My breath leaves my lungs in an ugly grunt. "Your fucking problem," he says, "is you're always trying to be different."

Drop.

"Don't even think of fucking going."

But I do.

Come out of your cupboards, you boys and girs. That's me.